Al Stefanelli

by Dave the Sandman – Guest Columnist.

“Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” – Carl Sagan

“What can be asserted without proof can also be dismissed without proof.” – Christopher Hitchens

If there is a tenant of fundamentalist Christianity that is guaranteed to have me spitting blood and feathers it is Biblical Literalism. Belief that the Bible is the inerrant word of God, passed directly to modern generations through age after age of wise minds is pure insanity. The wickedness that this belief system facilitates is like the classic “Mafia Octopus” diagram, where the Literalism is the head and the tentacles wrapped around all aspects of society are things like Creationism/Intelligent Design, bigotry against gays and minorities, the oppression of women and denial of rights to self determination, attacks on abortion providers and their facilities, perverse and unjust laws, the suppression of scientific research and education and substitution of quackery and conspiracy theories, etc.

An example of the Literalist position can be found in a recent laughably insane online article titled “Scientific Accuracy”[1] posted by the comically misnamed Institute of Creation Research:

Either the Bible is wholly reliable on every subject with which it deals, or it is not the Word of God.

The arguments against the viability of Literalism are plural. As was picked up by a recent blog post by fellow traveller Ernest Perce[2], the New Testament is packed with contradictory statements of “fact” about Jesus and his life. That alone should be enough to disprove the credibility of the Literalist argument.  After his baptism did Jesus go for his long walk in the desert, or did he go to Canaan for a piss up? On what day was he crucified? At what time? By whom? And so the list goes on and on. There are whole websites dedicated to New Testament inconsistencies.  They need whole websites because there are so damn many inconsistencies.

Then we can turn our gaze to the Old Testament. As Al Stefanelli detailed in his biographical post, it was his realisation that the story of Noah in the Old Testament was a badly plagiarised version of the flood section of The Epic of Gilgamesh, written a thousand years or more before the Hebrew version, which triggered his walk away from the Literalist faith and into the light of reason.  As a lad who studied geology all the way to University level, let me assure you that whilst there is evidence of localised drastic flooding in the Middle East, and particularly Egypt and Mesopotamia at various phases, there is not one jot of evidence for global scale flooding. Not one, and its not like in the early days of the science there were no geologists looking for it. That also sets aside other related arguments against the physical possibility for such an event such as physics, hydrology, climatology, etc.

The Old Testament would have you believe that the Psalms were the work of King David, yet if that is so how is it that large sections of them are directly plagiarised from much earlier Egyptian hymns and prayers, some from the monotheistic “heretic” pharaoh Akhenaton whose Aten worship heresy may just have been the genesis of Abrahamic monotheism?  Possibly because the Hebrew scribes heard Egyptian traders saying those prayers? Or maybe Israelite traders heard them on their travels and brought them home when they returned?

There are many historical versions of the Bible in museums around the world, and analysis of their contents shows clearly that whole sections of the Bible were added during the Middle Ages. The book itself was compiled and edited at the Council of Nicaea under the orders of Constantine.  There was a move shortly afterward, headed by a Roman called Marcian, to have the whole Old Testament dumped as it was Hebrew not Christian. The King James Version has been shown by scholars to have conveniently translated certain sections to enforce the idea of monarchy being ordained by God and thus beyond the laws of man. Modern literary analysis and comparative religion scholars can clearly demonstrate that most of the Old Testament is second hand plagiarism, and that this carries over into the New Testament where large bits appear plagiarised from Hellenic and Roman pagan sources such as Virgil and Plato. And if the Bible is the infallible word of God, given there are many different versions of the text, which one is it that is “his”?

And then there’s the most damning argument against Literalism of all. From its earliest days the state of Israel funded archaeological research focussed on establishing the historical accuracy of the Hebrew books we call The Old Testament. Team after team have gone over the Holy Land and its neighbour states with a fine tooth comb, sat in dusty rooms deciphering and analysing the written texts on papyri and clay tablets, read temple walls and explored city ruins, catalogued clay pot fragment after fragment, bead after bead. And their conclusions after 60 years of solid internationally recognised and lauded exploration and research? That the “Old Testament” texts have almost NO VALUE WHATSOEVER as a historical record of the Israelites.

They found no evidence of Exodus either in Egypt itself, where there is a gold mine of written textual history, nor in the deserts of the Sinai. It seems that if the Tribes of Israel did wander about for 40 years, they left not one single bit of reliable evidence of their passing. Not one pot shard, not one fire hearth, not one bead.  Here is another ponder point. Have you noticed that the stories of the Israelites oppression by evil old Pharaoh and his sons seem a little scant on actual details, such as the names of the two or more pharaohs involved in that oppression and the cities they were made to build at his whim? This is the same book that spends whole chapters with the “A begat B begat C begat D” blather in painful and boring detail. You would think that they would name and shame the ancient Israelites equivalents of Hitler and Stalin then wouldn’t you? And let us consider the plagues. Why is it that the Egyptians, obsessed with recording accounts of famines and floods on the walls of temples and tombs, taxation accounts and papyri, would fail completely to record such a series of horrific empire shattering disasters?  They did in respect of less dramatic national disasters.

Moving along. When Joshua was supposedly marching round the walls of Jericho and blowing his trumpets there were no major walls there at all. The ruins that have been found date from much later, in fact around 1000BC when the first books of the Bible were being written down. And while those walls appear to have been brought tumbling down in a siege, there is no evidence that it was an Israelite army that did it. Just as there are no traces of the wandering, there are no traces of the genocidal wars of Joshua and his mass ethnic cleansing on the orders of Yaweh. All that smitey spitey head chopping must have left some evidence in the way of mass graves and ruined villages and towns…..so why isn’t it there? Perhaps because it never happened?

Cross culturalisation and mythology plagiarism is a common thread throughout societies, and the Abrahamic family tree is just one example. A recent example perhaps – Joseph Smith pulled the same trick when he re-wrote the Bible to put Eden in Missouri and had Jesus doing a post resurrection tour of the pre-colonies USA. And look how well that obvious nonsense has gone down.

I am a big adherent of the argument presented by the late and inestimably great Christopher Hitchens and that of the equally sage Carl Sagan, both of which I quoted at the head of this article. As Ricky Gervaise explained to the media last year, one reason underpinning his atheism is that if someone claims they can fly your logical response would be to say “Show Me!” You would ask them to jump off a roof or ladder and demonstrate this claim. If I said I had an underpants gnome in my pocket you would ask me to show you it, and when I didn’t you would quite rightly laugh in my face and call me a fool. So why do we allow Literalists to get away with their equally insane and demonstrably anti-evidential stance?

Now, when around two thirds of your country’s population are prepared to ignore, discredit and discount the mountain of evidence against Literalism that is a serious problem. Its corrosive effects spread like a cancer, from the ugly fascism of Domnionism to denying kids access to scientifically accurate educations and sex education in schools.  It means that gay minorities are persecuted and slandered, and women are forced to carry babies to term they don’t want and can’t support.

Unfortunately, Hitch’s simple dismissal tactic is neither persuasive in the court of public opinion, nor effective in countering Literalsm’s spread.  Instead, we must adopt Dr Sagan’s advice, demand evidence, and where none exists, or what does exist directly contradicts Literalism, we must use that as our weapon of choice.  As people of reason and evidence, knowledge and science, we can no longer sit idly at the sidelines while all end of nonsense and myth is injected into public discourse as fact.

When you read a letter in your local press written by a Literalist clown, write one to the same paper slapping their insanity down with facts and evidence. When that letter or a blog post is online, use the “Comments” section to do the same[3].  When a politician wheels out Literalist stupidity to justify whatever bigoted law they propose or position they take, write to their staff and the press calling them out. Then when it comes to election time use the media and your own mouth to spread the word and influence the vote and get rid of the idiot concerned.

When you go to a museum and see the donations box stick a few bucks in there. That money helps the museum stay open and do its thing, and serves to counter the donation gathering of shabby anti-intellectual clowns like Ken Ham, the Aussie Ayatollah of Appalachia, used (ostensibly) to build their stupid Creation Museums. When you read a media article written by the ironically named scam organisation The Discovery Institute write a letter in not forgetting to point out their IDiotc anti-science’s greatest defeat – Kitzmiller vs Dover.

If you know moderate people of faith who do not adhere to the stupidity of Literalism, get them onboard as well. Point out that the Literalists are dragging their faith through the mud by association and their country back into the days of Cotton Mather and the Salem witchunts. Remind them that once the fundy loons have finished with us, it will be their moderate faiths and non-Literalist creeds that are next on the hit list. And when they laugh it off and say you are paranoid, smile and suggest they read a Dominionist manifesto or The Wedge Document.  That will wipe the smile off their face.

For 30 years the rats have had the run of the ship. They have eaten the cargo, crapped up the bilges to blocking point, and are now nibbling away actively at the wheelhouse steering ropes. From the Houses of Congress, through the courts of the land, to the pharmacy on your main street the place is infested with holier than thou rats. Its time for us cats to get organised, get active, and take back the ship before it hits the reef and sinks for good. We can no longer sit idly by as we sail gently into the dark night.

Literalism is not just one of the guy ropes or tent pegs of USA style Big Tent Christianity, it is the “King Pole” itself. It is the central pole that holds up the whole damnable circus marquee, and THAT is why it must be taken down.

Get off your ass, get out those tools. Combat the king pole of Literalism wherever you find it, and TEAR DOWN THAT DAMN BIG TENT.